For the Adults

This page includes information for adults. Eventually, it will include information for three classes of adults: Adult Children of Divorce, Parents and Adults Helping Children of Divorce

ADULT CHILDREN OF DIVORCE

The effects of divorce on children last long into adulthood. Recent studies show that the some effects are not even experienced until 10, 15 or 20 years following the divorce of one’s parents. In this section, we will address issues important to grown children of divorce.

Questions Adult Children of Divorce Ask

What Do I Do if My Parent Is Still With the Person Who Caused the Split?

One of the questions that comes up more than any other after parents separate is, what do I do if I don’t like the person my parent is dating? You can find some ideas herehere and here if you find yourself in that situation.

But, what if that person your Mom or Dad is still with is the person that caused the break up of your parents in the first place. Maybe the guy your Mom is with is the guy she cheated on your Dad with. Maybe your Dad’s new girlfriend is the woman he left your mom for in the first place. Maybe both of your parents are dating (or remarried to) the person they left your other parent for. How do you deal with that?

Let’s start by acknowledging the pain and the hurt that this situation causes. When your parents split up, it hurts! When you’re left to pick up the pieces and trying to figure out how to move on with life, it causes pain, confusion, stress and so much more. The loss of your family (as you knew it) hurts, and it is a loss that must be grieved.

What About God?

If your parents are separated or divorced, you may have a lot of spiritual questions about God and faith and the church.  Many times when parents get divorced, kids begin to wonder about why they even exist and sometimes that leads to tough questions about God and...

How Can I Use the GAP Method to Help With Feelings of Fear?

When your parents get divorced, there are plenty of things that can make you feel anxious or afraid.  Here are some of things that children of divorce have told us they were afraid of or anxious about: Moving to a new house or neighborhood Changing schools No longer...

How Can I Respect and Honor My Parents After A Divorce?

When your parents divorce, you entire world changes.  Many times, you are find out or are given information about one parent or the other which impacts your view of them.  Perhaps one of your parents made bad decisions which and betrayed the trust of your other parent...

Resources For Adult Children of Divorce

CHaT First Board Game for Children of Divorce

CHaT First is a website from the Children and Families in Transition Project a partnership between the Centre for Peace, Conflict and Mediation, Hawke research Institute, University of South Australia and Centacare Catholic Family Services (SA), with generous support from the Telstra Foundation.  It is full of information for children and teens whose parents have separated or divorced. One of the best resources is a printable board game called the CHaT First Board game.

How It Works

The CHaT First Board Game is a question and answer board game that encourages kids and teens to answer questions from one of four decks of cards. Players take turns rolling the dice and moving along the board. This game is not about winners and losers but about the experience shared together.

Who is It For?

This is for all children who have experienced, or are experiencing, their parents divorce. It will also benefit parents and other adults who want to help those kids.

Resource: Emotion Wheels

Emotion wheels can be great tools for helping you to figure out what your feeling, introduce you to new emotions and help you to figure out what emotions might be underlying why you’re feeling. This first wheel was created by Dr. Gloria Wilcox who is a licensed...

Identifying, Naming and Recognizing Your Feelings (A New Resource)

Here at I Am A Child of Divorce, we are pleased to announce the release of a brand new resource developed in conjunction with Divorce Ministry 4 Kids.  The new book entitled “My Feelings Workbook” is designed to help kids, teens and adults to name the emotions they...

Free Books for Children of Divorce

Donald Harting is a child of divorce.  His parents separated when he was eight years old and divorced when he was 15.  He knows what it is like to lose an intact family and deal with the repercussions of divorce.  As a way to honor his parents, he has built a living...

Chained No More: Healing for Adult Children of Divorce

Research shows that divorce impacts children well into their adult years.  In fact Judith Wallerstein and her colleagues identified a “sleeper effect” where many children of divorce don’t even experience the full impact of the their parents’ divorce until years later...

Additional Reading For Adult Children of Divorce

PARENTS

This site is primarily for children of divorce and not parents who are getting a divorce or are divorced. However, there are things parents can do to help there children when it comes to divorce. Such information will be featured here.

Questions Parents Ask

What About God?

If your parents are separated or divorced, you may have a lot of spiritual questions about God and faith and the church.  Many times when parents get divorced, kids begin to wonder about why they even exist and sometimes that leads to tough questions about God and...

How Should I Tell My Kids We’re Getting a Divorce?

STOP! If you are considering a divorce, do everything within your power to find another way. Divorce hurts. It will hurt your children whether or not they are willing to tell you. Divorce fundamentally changes the world they have come to know. That said, we recognize...

Resources For Parents

CHaT First Board Game for Children of Divorce

CHaT First is a website from the Children and Families in Transition Project a partnership between the Centre for Peace, Conflict and Mediation, Hawke research Institute, University of South Australia and Centacare Catholic Family Services (SA), with generous support from the Telstra Foundation.  It is full of information for children and teens whose parents have separated or divorced. One of the best resources is a printable board game called the CHaT First Board game.

How It Works

The CHaT First Board Game is a question and answer board game that encourages kids and teens to answer questions from one of four decks of cards. Players take turns rolling the dice and moving along the board. This game is not about winners and losers but about the experience shared together.

Who is It For?

This is for all children who have experienced, or are experiencing, their parents divorce. It will also benefit parents and other adults who want to help those kids.

Resource: Emotion Wheels

Emotion wheels can be great tools for helping you to figure out what your feeling, introduce you to new emotions and help you to figure out what emotions might be underlying why you’re feeling. This first wheel was created by Dr. Gloria Wilcox who is a licensed...

Teen Between: Support For Teenagers of Separated Parents

Teen Between is a resource out of Ireland designed to help teens from divorcing families and to help parents and schools to help teens through the divorce process.  Teen Between offers in person counseling services all around the country of Ireland.  They also have an...

Helping Infants and Toddlers Adjust to Divorce (MU Extension)

From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, this resource specifically addresses how divorce impacts infants and toddlers.  Too many people believe that divorce does not impact these kids because they are young.  This couldn’t be further from the truth....

Helping Children Understand Divorce (MU Extension)

From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, the purpose of this resource is to provide parents and other adults with guidance on how to help children understand their parents’ divorce.  It includes information on how to tell children about divorce and...

How To Put Children First in Divorce (Child Centered Solutions)

Many parents lose sight of their children’s needs during a divorce.  That is why we were excited to find this pamphlet from child centered solutions is designed to help parents to keep their children’s needs first when going through a divorce.  The pamphlet addresses...

Activities for Helping Children Deal With Divorce (MU Extension)

From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, this resources suggests a multitude of activities that parents can do with their children to “help them work through their feelings, concerns and frustrations regarding the divorce.”  Though specifically...

Register For An Online Support Group for Teen Children of Divorce

We are please to officially announce the beginning of I Am A Child of Divorce support groups.  These groups are intended children of divorce find hope and healing in the aftermath of their parents’ separation or divorce. Groups are free to participate in and will...

Advise for Moms on Helping Children Heal From Divorce

This article from First Wives World is directed towards moms with advice on how to help their children work through their issues related to the divorce.  I appreciate this article because is does not take the “your kids will happy” route that so many article aimed at...

Additional Reading For Parents

On the Importance of Parents Getting Along After A Divorce

In this article from Huffington Post, Shanon Bradley-Colleary shares an important first hand account on the importance of her parents getting along after their divorce.  So many times, children of divorce are left reeling and wondering why they even exist in the face...

Advice for Stepparents on Dealing With Stepkids

Divorce is hard on kids, and it takes time for children to adjust to the divorce of their parents.  The fact is, they may never fully adjust.  However, equally stressful to children of divorce can be when their parents begin to date and especially if they remarry....

How Technology Can Help Parents Keep In Touch With Their Kids

This article from cozi.com explores how parents can use modern technology to stay in touch with their kids even when those kids are not living under the same roof.  There are signs that perhaps these advances are having a positive impact.  The article explains: In a...

7 Keys To Making Co-Parenting Work

Although you can't eliminate the impact of divorce on your kids, working together and following some basic rules can make post-divorce life easier on your kids. Rosalind Sedacca shares seven keys to making your co-parenting relationship work for your kids following a...

Helping Parents and Teens Adjust to Divorce

The teen years can be a particularly hard time for children to experience the divorce of their parents.  This article from Risa Garcon explains why and offers some practical advice to both parents and teens....

Advice for Parents on Dating After Divorce

This article is a little bit on the simplistic side when it comes to advice about dating after a divorce, but if you are in that position it does offer some solid advice for how to make it easier on your kids....

Divorce Is Hard for Everyone – Especially Teens

Resisting change is a natural part of being human. For teenagers that resistance is compounded by a tendency to test boundaries and rock the status quo. Divorce or separation naturally makes all children feel powerless over their circumstances. For teens, who are...

WORKING WITH CHILDREN OF DIVORCE

It is important that children of divorce have trusted adults who can help them to adjust to the divorce of their parents. Whether you are a grandparent, aunt, uncle, family friend, pastor, teacher or acquaintance, you can help these kids. In this section, we will feature resources to help you.

Questions Other Adults Ask

What About God?

If your parents are separated or divorced, you may have a lot of spiritual questions about God and faith and the church.  Many times when parents get divorced, kids begin to wonder about why they even exist and sometimes that leads to tough questions about God and...

Resources For Other Adults

CHaT First Board Game for Children of Divorce

CHaT First is a website from the Children and Families in Transition Project a partnership between the Centre for Peace, Conflict and Mediation, Hawke research Institute, University of South Australia and Centacare Catholic Family Services (SA), with generous support from the Telstra Foundation.  It is full of information for children and teens whose parents have separated or divorced. One of the best resources is a printable board game called the CHaT First Board game.

How It Works

The CHaT First Board Game is a question and answer board game that encourages kids and teens to answer questions from one of four decks of cards. Players take turns rolling the dice and moving along the board. This game is not about winners and losers but about the experience shared together.

Who is It For?

This is for all children who have experienced, or are experiencing, their parents divorce. It will also benefit parents and other adults who want to help those kids.

Resource: Emotion Wheels

Emotion wheels can be great tools for helping you to figure out what your feeling, introduce you to new emotions and help you to figure out what emotions might be underlying why you’re feeling. This first wheel was created by Dr. Gloria Wilcox who is a licensed...

Teen Between: Support For Teenagers of Separated Parents

Teen Between is a resource out of Ireland designed to help teens from divorcing families and to help parents and schools to help teens through the divorce process.  Teen Between offers in person counseling services all around the country of Ireland.  They also have an...

Helping Infants and Toddlers Adjust to Divorce (MU Extension)

From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, this resource specifically addresses how divorce impacts infants and toddlers.  Too many people believe that divorce does not impact these kids because they are young.  This couldn’t be further from the truth....

Helping Children Understand Divorce (MU Extension)

From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, the purpose of this resource is to provide parents and other adults with guidance on how to help children understand their parents’ divorce.  It includes information on how to tell children about divorce and...

Activities for Helping Children Deal With Divorce (MU Extension)

From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, this resources suggests a multitude of activities that parents can do with their children to “help them work through their feelings, concerns and frustrations regarding the divorce.”  Though specifically...

Register For An Online Support Group for Teen Children of Divorce

We are please to officially announce the beginning of I Am A Child of Divorce support groups.  These groups are intended children of divorce find hope and healing in the aftermath of their parents’ separation or divorce. Groups are free to participate in and will...

Free Books for Children of Divorce

Donald Harting is a child of divorce.  His parents separated when he was eight years old and divorced when he was 15.  He knows what it is like to lose an intact family and deal with the repercussions of divorce.  As a way to honor his parents, he has built a living...

Additional Reading For Other Adults