Breathing, physical activity and talking about it are great ways to help deal with anger or stress. That said, sometimes when anger or stress builds up inside, you just want to scream. Handled correctly, this can be a therapeutic way to vent some of that frustration (though we would still encourage you to find someone you trust afterwards to talk to about it). Screaming however is not always socially acceptable. Maybe you’re in a public place where screaming would cause alarm or perhaps your parent just doesn’t get it or takes it personally when you you let anger out by screaming. What should you do then? That’s where the Scream Box comes in handy.
Here are a couple of pictures of the scream box we made.
In an earlier article, we looked at why it is so important to forgive people who have hurt us:
Should I Forgive My Parents for What They Have Done?
In this article, we will look at some specific things to keep in mind and steps you can take to forgive even when it’s hard.
How Do I Forgive?
When your parents split up, it’s easy to blame them and be angry about it. After all, they (or at least one of them) didn’t ask you what you wanted. Chances are you have been angry about that at some point. You might have talked to someone who suggested that you need to forgive your parent(s). But, how? What does it mean to forgive? Why would you even want to?
What is Forgiveness?
Sometimes we choose not to forgive because it seems like offering forgiveness is saying, “what you did is ok.” The truth is, that has nothing to do with forgiveness. The dictionary (dictionary.com) defines forgive as:
“to cancel an indebtedness”
Emotion wheels can be great tools for helping you to figure out what your feeling, introduce you to new emotions and help you to figure out what emotions might be underlying why you’re feeling.
This first wheel was created by Dr. Gloria Wilcox who is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in St Petersburg, Florida. It is a great tool for identifying emotions you might be feeling following the dissolution of your parents’ relationship. Emotions are grouped into six broad categories including Sad, Mad, Scared, Peaceful, Joyful and Powerful.
This second wheel is not quite as colorful but includes even more emotion words to broaden your emotion vocabulary. We found it originally on http://makalaonlife.tumblr.com.
If you are wondering if your parents’ divorce or separation is your fault, you are not alone. Most children of divorce at some point believe that their parents’ split up had something to do with them. Maybe you think if you had behaved better they would still be together. Perhaps you wonder if you weren’t involved in so many extra-curricular activities if they wouldn’t fight so much and would still be together. Maybe something happened on the day your parents told you about the split, and you’re convinced that what you did that day caused them to split up. Regardless of why you think you caused your parents’ divorce, there is one thing that you need to know for certain:
CHILDREN DO NOT CAUSE DIVORCES, ADULTS DO!
In other words:
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!