The Kids’ Corner

This page is for kids whose parents are separated, divorced, or getting a divorce.  Here you will find information to help you understand and deal with many of the impacts that your parents’ divorce has had on you.

QUESTIONS KIDS ASK

You probably have a lot of questions about what is going on. We’ll tackle many of those questions here.

Questions About Divorce

What Is Child Support?

If your parents are divorced, you’ve probably heard them talking about child support, but what is it really? What is child support? What is it for? How does it work? Who is supposed to get it? The purpose of this article is to clear up any questions you might have...

What Is Custody And Visitation?

When your parents were married, they likely worked together to make decisions regarding you, and you probably all lived in the same house.  When parents’ get divorced, someone has to decide who will make decisions for the kids and where the kids will live. ...

Why Didn’t I See The Divorce of My Parents Coming?

Many kids are shocked when they find out that their parents are getting a divorce.  Some parents fight a lot, and the kids in those homes may start to suspect that their parents are going to split up.  But, if you came from a home where there wasn’t much conflict, you...

What Are Alimony and Child Support?

When parents get divorced, there are many things that have to be divided between them.  Things like family pictures, checking accounts, vehicles and much more is divided.  Sometimes parents agree how to split these items up, and other times a judge tells people who...

My Parents Got A Divorce; Do I Still Have A Family?

When parents get a divorce, there are a ton of changes that happen.  Sometimes one parent moves out and you visit them occasionally.  Sometimes both parents may need to move.  Sometimes you continue to see both of your parents regularly.  Sometimes...

What Is A Divorce?

Sometimes when parents talk to kids about things like divorce, they forget that you might not know what a divorce even is.  Or, you might think you know what divorce is all about, but not really understand what it means when your parents get divorced.  That’s ok, but...

Did I Cause My Parents’ Divorce?

This may seem like a silly question to you.  If it does, that’s great, but there are lots of kids who wonder weather or not they caused their parents’ divorce.  Do you ever wondered if you did something to cause your parents’ divorce?  Do you ever wonder if your...

Questions About Emotions

What Do I Do When I’m So Angry I Could Scream?

Breathing, physical activity and talking about it are great ways to help deal with anger or stress. That said, sometimes when anger or stress builds up inside, you just want to scream. Handled correctly, this can be a therapeutic way to vent some of that frustration...

How Do I Forgive My Parents For What They Have Done?

In an earlier article, we looked at why it is so important to forgive people who have hurt us: Should I Forgive My Parents for What They Have Done? In this article, we will look at some specific things to keep in mind and steps you can take to forgive even when it’s...

Should I Forgive My Parents For What They Have Done?

When your parents split up, it’s easy to blame them and be angry about it. After all, they (or at least one of them) didn’t ask you what you wanted. Chances are you have been angry about that at some point. You might have talked to someone who suggested that you need...

Resource: Emotion Wheels

Emotion wheels can be great tools for helping you to figure out what your feeling, introduce you to new emotions and help you to figure out what emotions might be underlying why you’re feeling. This first wheel was created by Dr. Gloria Wilcox who is a licensed...

Was My Parents’ Divorce My Fault?

If you are wondering if your parents’ divorce or separation is your fault, you are not alone.  Most children of divorce at some point believe that their parents’ split up had something to do with them.  Maybe you think if you had behaved better they would still be...

How Can I Deal With All This Anger?

Anger is a very common reaction in children whose parents have separated or divorced.  When you do not deal with your anger, it can become very destructive, and when you let it out in the wrong way, you can hurt yourself or someone else or find yourself in trouble. ...

What is Grief?

Grief is a process that people go through when they suffer a loss.  It is a journey through understanding and dealing with what has happened.  The goal of the grieving process is to reach acceptance of the loss that will allow you to move on with life. ...

How Can I Use the GAP Method to Help With Feelings of Fear?

When your parents get divorced, there are plenty of things that can make you feel anxious or afraid.  Here are some of things that children of divorce have told us they were afraid of or anxious about: Moving to a new house or neighborhood Changing schools No longer...

Is It OK To Be Happy About My Parents’ Divorce?

Divorce brings with it all kinds of different emotions.  If your parents are divorced, you already know that.  Sometimes you will be sad, sometimes angry, sometimes lonely, and sometimes many other different emotions.  But, is it ok to be happy?  Shouldn’t you be...

Questions About Life

It’s Hard to Focus on School Since the Divorce. What Should I Do?

Many children report that they just can’t concentrate on school, or just don’t care, since they found out that their parents are getting a divorce.  Many see a decrease in their grades and test scores, and some take years to “catch back up” if they ever do. If you...

What Should I Do If I Am Thinking About Suicide?

If your parents are separated or divorced, there is no doubt that you have experienced times of sadness. If left unchecked, that sadness can easily grow into depression, and depression which is not dealt with can sometimes lead people to think about, plan or even...

Is There Anything Good About Divorce?

Yikes. What a tough question! Divorce is tough, and divorce hurts. There is no doubt about that. Perhaps your parents are in the process of finalizing their split or maybe they’ve already been separated for years. Either way, it is a healthy exercise to look for the...

How Can I Make Living In Two Homes Easier?

Let’s face it, if you live part-time at both your mom’s house and your dad’s house, it can be hard on you.  Even apart from the emotional baggage that goes along with living in two different homes (and maybe with two different families), there is the practical and...

Am I The Only One Going Through This?

Divorce is hard, and as a child divorce you may wonder if anyone else understands what you are going through.  Well, the answer is yes…and….no!  Unfortunately, lots of kids each year experience the divorce of their parents.  In fact, since 1972 roughly...

Will Things Ever Be “Normal” Again?

Divorce brings all kinds of changes into your life.  Some changes are obvious.  You no longer live in the same house with both your mom and your dad.  Maybe you spend most of your time at one parents’ house and visit the other parents’ house every other weekend, or...

Questions About Parents

How Do I Forgive My Parents For What They Have Done?

In an earlier article, we looked at why it is so important to forgive people who have hurt us: Should I Forgive My Parents for What They Have Done? In this article, we will look at some specific things to keep in mind and steps you can take to forgive even when it’s...

Should I Forgive My Parents For What They Have Done?

When your parents split up, it’s easy to blame them and be angry about it. After all, they (or at least one of them) didn’t ask you what you wanted. Chances are you have been angry about that at some point. You might have talked to someone who suggested that you need...

What Do I Do if My Parent Is Still With the Person Who Caused the Split?

One of the questions that comes up more than any other after parents separate is, what do I do if I don’t like the person my parent is dating? You can find some ideas herehere and here if you find yourself in that situation.

But, what if that person your Mom or Dad is still with is the person that caused the break up of your parents in the first place. Maybe the guy your Mom is with is the guy she cheated on your Dad with. Maybe your Dad’s new girlfriend is the woman he left your mom for in the first place. Maybe both of your parents are dating (or remarried to) the person they left your other parent for. How do you deal with that?

Let’s start by acknowledging the pain and the hurt that this situation causes. When your parents split up, it hurts! When you’re left to pick up the pieces and trying to figure out how to move on with life, it causes pain, confusion, stress and so much more. The loss of your family (as you knew it) hurts, and it is a loss that must be grieved.

My Parents Won’t Talk To Each Other! What Can I Do?

Divorce is hard, and many times when parents get divorced the last thing they want to do is talk to the other spouse. When there are kids involved though, that isn't an option. Even so, sometimes the anger and the hurt and the emotions are so overwhelming that even...

What Can I Do If I Don’t Like My Stepparent?

When it comes to step and blended families, this question gets asked a lot.  It is difficult living in the same house as someone you don’t really like. In order to answer this question though, we need to think about WHY you don’t like your stepparent. In my...

What Can I Do If My Parent Wants Nothing to Do With Me?

When people get divorced, relationships suffer.  Obviously, you parents’ relationship is different, but it can also hurt your relationship with one or both parents.  In some extreme circumstances, a parent may decide they don’t really want anything to do with you...

Questions About Spiritual Stuff

Where Was God When My Parents Got Divorced?

That is a fair question, and if you’ve gone to church and/or believe in God you may very well have asked yourself that question since your parents separated or got divorced.  Where was God?  Why didn’t He stop the divorce?  Why didn’t He answer my prayers?  Maybe you...

What About God?

If your parents are separated or divorced, you may have a lot of spiritual questions about God and faith and the church.  Many times when parents get divorced, kids begin to wonder about why they even exist and sometimes that leads to tough questions about God and...

RESOURCES

My Family’s Changing Activity Book for Children

Background

This activity book was developed and published by Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) in England. “Every year Cafcass helps over 140,000 children and young people who are going through care or adoption proceedings, or whose parents have separated and are unable to agree about future arrangements for their children. Cafcass is the voice of children in the family courts and helps to ensure that children’s welfare is put first during proceedings.”

How It Works

This pdf activity book is colorfully illustrated and offers kids activities to complete in addition to answering basic questions they might have about their parents’ divorce. This pamphlet offers very basic information to educate and help kids dealing with these difficult circumstances.

Who is It For?

This book is specifically designed for younger elementary aged children.

CHaT First Board Game for Children of Divorce

CHaT First is a website from the Children and Families in Transition Project a partnership between the Centre for Peace, Conflict and Mediation, Hawke research Institute, University of South Australia and Centacare Catholic Family Services (SA), with generous support from the Telstra Foundation.  It is full of information for children and teens whose parents have separated or divorced. One of the best resources is a printable board game called the CHaT First Board game.

How It Works

The CHaT First Board Game is a question and answer board game that encourages kids and teens to answer questions from one of four decks of cards. Players take turns rolling the dice and moving along the board. This game is not about winners and losers but about the experience shared together.

Who is It For?

This is for all children who have experienced, or are experiencing, their parents divorce. It will also benefit parents and other adults who want to help those kids.

Resource: Emotion Wheels

Emotion wheels can be great tools for helping you to figure out what your feeling, introduce you to new emotions and help you to figure out what emotions might be underlying why you’re feeling. This first wheel was created by Dr. Gloria Wilcox who is a licensed...

The Anger-ometer (Tracking Your Anger In Order to Deal With It)

If your parents are separated or divorced, there is a good chance you will experience anger at some point in the process.  There is nothing wrong with being angry.  How we choose to deal with that anger is important.  If we keep it all bottled up inside, we will...

Register For An Online Support Group for Teen Children of Divorce

We are please to officially announce the beginning of I Am A Child of Divorce support groups.  These groups are intended children of divorce find hope and healing in the aftermath of their parents’ separation or divorce. Groups are free to participate in and will...

A Mini-book About Feelings For Kids

This miniature book about feelings for kids comes to us from Scholastic.com.  That’s right, the people known for school book fairs and those book order forms that your kids bring home all the time also offers a series of mini printable books for kids. This particular...

An Explanation of Divorce for Kids (KidsHealth.org)

From KidsHealth.org, this article is a guide to divorce written specifically for kids.  The article explains that "Divorce Is Tough For Everyone," and includes the important reminders that "Kids Don't Cause Divorce" and "Kids Can't Fix Divorce."  If your parents are...

Identifying, Naming and Recognizing Your Feelings (A New Resource)

Here at I Am A Child of Divorce, we are pleased to announce the release of a brand new resource developed in conjunction with Divorce Ministry 4 Kids.  The new book entitled “My Feelings Workbook” is designed to help kids, teens and adults to name the emotions they...