When parents get a divorce, there are a ton of changes that happen. Sometimes one parent moves out and you visit them occasionally. Sometimes both parents may need to move. Sometimes you continue to see both of your parents regularly. Sometimes you don’t. In some divorces, the children even stay in the same house while the parents move in and out depending on who the custody agreement. Every divorce is different.
Sometimes, children of divorce wonder if they even still belong to a family. When you travel back and forth between two homes, it sometimes feels like you don’t fully belong in either place. Are the people in one of those homes your family while the others are not? Maybe it’s just you and your siblings and one parent. Is that still a family? Maybe you live with your grandparents or aunt and uncle since the divorce. Are they part of your family? Are your parents still part of your family? Maybe your mom is remarried. Are your stepdad and stepsiblings part of your family? Maybe your Dad divorced your stepmom. Is she still part of your family? It can all get really confusing following a divorce.
It all comes down to one questions – What is a family? The fact is that, while living arrangements might change following a divorce, who makes up your family does not. Your family still consists of your mother and father and siblings and grandparents and aunts and uncles and anybody else who was part of your family before the divorce – whether you still live in the same house or not. The one change that you may experience, in time, is the addition of new family members. If your parents get remarried or have additional children following a divorce, you will have new people in your family. Sometimes that is hard to get used to, and sometimes it takes a while before those people feel like family. That’s ok.
This article from Kidshealth.org will help children dealing with step and blended families. It covers issues like getting used to stepparents, what to do if you can’t get along with your new stepparent and how to make a healthy transition into a step family. This resource offers a good variety of information and useful tips for making your stepfamily work.
