What Can I Do To Get My Parents Back Together?
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why would I just give up and accept them being apart?
Anna, It’s not about giving up, but it is about moving on. Unfortunately, the fact is most parents do not get back together once they separate and divorce. As hard as it is, we have to grieve the loss of the family we once knew and accept that things won’t ever be exactly the same so that we can move forward with our lives and begin to make adjustments. I know it’s tough, but it’s an important part of moving on with your life. That said, don’t rush it. You need to work through your own feelings and circumstances in your own time.
We’ll my parents have just had a divorce and I am 8 so this is very hard for me,…. And I just wish I could go back and make adjustments so my parents won’t fall out and that I can live how it has been for the past 8 years of my life
Harriet, please know that there is nothing you did that caused your parents divorce and nothing you could have done to stop it. Divorce is an adult decision even though it does affect you.
my dad loves to have friends over loves to drink loves to smoke he has gotten kicked out many times and last night they all got drunk and fought now my mom is thinking to move with my uncle richard but thats in california and im only 10 and my last year in elementry school it inportant im the one every one looks up because im always having a smile but thats because i had a family
Alyssa,
Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. What happened? Did you end up having to move? How are you doing?
My parents have been divorced since like 2012 and there was this one time they were gonna get back together.. But I don’t know what happened that they didn’t.. I know it’s been 5 years but I still have my faith.. I just really want for them to get back together.. They might.. I pray to God every now and then and nothing has happened for the past years.. I’m a 12 year old so this is kinda hard for me..
Karen,
I’m sorry to here about all that you are going through. It really is hard when your parents get divorced, and I can only imagine how frustrating it must have been when you thought they were getting back together then didn’t. Keep praying to God that he would comfort you and protect your family (it’s still your family even if it doesn’t look like it used to). Unfortunately, most parents who get divorced don’t end up getting back together. That doesn’t mean that your life and your family has to be “bad,” it just means that it’s different than it was before, and that takes some getting used to. As hard as I know it is, try to look forward instead of continuing to look back. Everything that has happened up to now makes you who you are, but you’ve got a lot ahead of you too (both family stuff and other stuff). Don’t get so caught up in the dream of going back to how things “used to be” that you miss what God’s got waiting for you going forward. If you ever have questions we’re here to help. Take care of yourself.
Im going through a tough time im 14 and just hope because my mum cant cope on her own
Cameron,
Dealing with your parents’ divorce is always hard. Is there something in particular that’s causing your tough time right now? Please get back in touch with us so we can try to help!
Take care of yourself,
Wayne
Founder of IAmAChildofDivorce.com
I’m 12 and i’m going through a tough time because i just found about my parents’ divorce yesterday. What should I do?
Well mabye i can make You feel better…. My parentes are back together…… And all i dis was wait… I hopen and byggde God and i wished fow my life to be exacltly hos i Walter IT ro be….
I wish You the best
Harriet
Harriet, I am glad to hear about your parents for your sake, and I hope that things continue to improve for you.
I have a big problem . My mom and dad are divorced and my birthday is on christmas and my dad told me if i wanted to go to Florida for my birthday but i said no because i want to be with my mom and i can go to florida for New Years. My dad bought the plane ticket on the day of my birthday and i been crying because i want to be with my mom too but there is no way they are both going to be there for my birthday. Im so confuse please help me and I love my mom so much and my dad its just hard to decide.
I’m afraid to try to get my parents back together they hate each other every time they are in the same room they fight and it’s really hard for me I was only in fourth grade when they got divorced and I’m in fifth now I’m afraid that there never gonna get back together and plus my mama has a stupid boyfriend. Sometime I just sit in my room looking at a picture of us all together and cry for hours and I can’t stop.
and sometimes I feel like it’s my fault
Hannah,
I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. It stinks. No doubt about it. When your parents get divorced it just hurts, and many times parents just don’t understand that. Know this though, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! I have been doing this for a long time now, and I have NEVER come across a case where a parents’ divorce was the fault of any child. Parents get divorced for adult reasons. There was nothing you could have done to stop it. I promise you that. Unfortunately, even though it’s not your fault, kids are often left to deal with all the fall out from divorce by themselves. It sounds like this may be where you are now. Please know that we are hear to help – if you need advice or just need someone to listen, that’s why this website exists. We will keep you in our thoughts a prayers. Take care of yourself.
No they never stop fighting and the separation ruins your life.
Booooot123,
What you are going / have gone through is tough. Divorce hurts, and the kids involved usually end up getting hurt the most. I’m sorry to hear that your parents are continuing to fight through this whole process too. That makes it even harder. Just try to keep your head up and stay out of adult arguments. Parents don’t always act the way they should. I know you feel like your life is ruined right now, but there is so much more of life ahead of you. It may not seem like it now, but the sun will come back out and things will (eventually) get better. If you need someone to talk to, we are here for you. Leave a comment or use the “Ask Us” feature of the website.
My parents are together for 16 years and that is a very long time my family is my world and when i was younger i always said to my mom you are never leaving me or never gonna leave eachother no matter what and now i am 12 years old and every night i think of our memories together and what my family means to me and that im gonna miss the old days SO much and i REALLY dont want my parents to seperate i love them so much i dont know how to explane it to someone else its just SO hard for me hope you understand greetings Tuane
Tuane,
I am so sorry for what you are experiencing, and I’m glad that you’ve talked about it here. Things are going to change if your parents are separating, and there will be tough times ahead adjusting to those changes. You need to find trusted adults and friends in your life who you can talk to about the things going on in your life and how they make you feel. There are a few things that are critical for you to remember:
1. Just because your parents get a divorce doesn’t mean that they don’t love you anymore or that you can’t love them just the same.
2. It is not your fault. Nothing you did caused this, and nothing you could have done would have stopped it.
3. It will get better…eventually. The hurt and the pain you are feeling need to be worked through, but there is hope. Things will get better eventually. They will never be the same, but as much as it might not seem like it now, eventually you will get used to the new situation.
4. Start to make new memories, but you don’t have to let go of the old ones either.
If there is anything else I can ever do to help you, or you have any other questions, please leave a comment here or use the “Ask Us” feature of the site.
How do i get my parents to talk to each other; they won’t even talk on the phone!
Isaac, make sure you check out our article “My Parents Won’t Talk To Each Other! What Can I Do?” (https://iamachildofdivorce.com/my-parents-wont-talk-to-each-other-what-can-i-do/) for some practical do’s and don’ts when you find yourself in that situation. I hope it helps. Let us know if you we can help or you have any questions.
I really want to get my parents together… Coz if I don’t then I will be moving house and I will move school and I don’t want to do that coz I love my school and home just the way it is… And if I do move school I don’t want to be put in a lower class than I am already in because I will lose all my progress and things I have done in the past!!!
Harriet,
I am so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Unfortunately, most parents who split up do not get back together. I think the best you can probably do is explain to them how important it is to you to try to stay in the same school. If you do end up having to switch, I have no doubt that it will be difficult, but rest assured that things do get better eventually. It might not look like it now, but they do improve with time.
Well, what happens if your parents move on and fall in love again. I REALLY want my parents to be in love. It is so hard for me to accept. All I want is them to be together without their boyfriends or girlfriends. It’s not fair and I keep asking them to try. My mom won’t even answer my dads phone calls. It is making me cry right now.
I’m sorry for the pain you are going through. You are right that it isn’t fair. You didn’t choose to be in this situation, but unfortunately it is affecting you. Part of your process for getting through this whole divorce mess is going to have to include accepting that things will likely never be the way they were. That isn’t an easy process, but once you have done that you will be able to move forward. While things may never be the same, that doesn’t have to mean that they will be bad or hurt as much as they do now forever.
I am also experiencing what you guys are….
it is really hard going through these things and i just started reading this and Boooooot123 no events but it is not helping at all. i thought at first it would rouen y life but now since i read this u r not helping at all. I read everything even plans about how to fake a sick and stuff but it is better to tell them how u feel than to “sabatoge” them trust me i know how it feels. coming from a 11 year old with rely bad experinces i now how it feels. Sometimes it is so bad u just want to run away. but that is never the answer.
I need my parents to get back together my moms boyfriend is the worse and I have to get ride of him before they get engaged OR move further in this relationship
Amya, I totally understand your desire to get your parents back together. Unfortunately, that rarely happens in these cases. What is it about your mom’s boyfriend that makes him “the worse?” Do you think he is a bad person? Would you dislike him if he wasn’t dating your mother? Before you talk to your mother about it, I would encourage you to examine why you are feeling the way you are. If there are legitimate concerns, talk to your mother about those. Unfortunately, while you can tell your mother how you feel, the decision regarding who she will be with is ultimately up to her. Please let us know if we can help you in any way.
Please help me me and my sister’s life will be ruined if they dont please help us am now 10 about to be 11 and I can’t wait any long it has been what at least 5 years
I have 3 younger siblings and I am 14 and the oldest. My parents were always fine and happy, and then go into this fight that lasts for months. They’re planning for a divorce but i just can’t accept it.
Tyler,
I am sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Your experience, where everything seemed fine but might not have been, is unfortunately very common. Accepting that your parents are getting a divorce can be very hard and involves grieving the loss of the family you’ve grown up in. I would encourage you to find a trusted adult that you can talk to about what you are going through and what you are feeling. The worse thing you can do in the circumstances you are in now is to keep that all buried deep inside. We are here to help in whatever way you need. I would also encourage you, if you haven’t already, to look into our online teen support group which is starting soon.
I just hate my moms boyfriend and my dads girlfriend my life is over
Isack, I’m sorry to hear about your issues with your mom’s boyfriend. Have you asked yourself why you hate him? Is it something about him, or is it just because he is dating your mother? Oftentimes parents move on from a divorce faster than kids are able to, and I know that’s tough to deal with. I also know what it is like for a parent to be with someone new. It takes a lot of adjusting and it isn’t easy, but please know that your life isn’t over. Things do get better with the passing of time, and though your life may never be the same, that doesn’t mean that it has to be bad.
This is the worst advice I’m not just gonna go on with life like nothing happened NO WAY!
Caroline,
We are not suggesting that you go on with life as if nothing happened. Something did happen. Something very big, very hurtful and very significant in your life. You need to process those changes and the feelings you are experiencing. The point is not to try to move on as though nothing happened or everything is ok. The point is to deal with those emotions and accept that there are some things in life that you can control and there are others that you cannot. When we hold on too tightly to the past, it prevents us from moving into the future.
Thank u for the advice but onistley I hope that all the parents fighting out there get back together
Eddie,
I hope they would get back together too. If there was a way to make that happen, that would be awesome. Unfortunately, there isn’t and many parents do end up splitting up. This site is about making sure that they can find the help the need.
I’m very sad my parents have been married for 12 years and now they do a divorce :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( 🙁
Anthony,
I’m so sorry to hear about your parents’ divorce. We are here to help. I hope you will read some of the resources we have available and use the “Ask Us” feature (button to the right) if there is anything you need to talk about or have questions about.
I agree my mom and dad broke up and my mom got a new boyfriend ! And I don’t like him ! But I’m trying to get my mom and dad back together
I lived with dad since i was 3. My mom went to Uk since the divorce i hadnt seen her since then .Im now 17. I think next year she will come back for me but dad hate her so much i dont know what i have to do then
Mimi33,
Your Dad’s feelings (justified or not) don’t have to dictate your feelings about your mother. You are, and always should be, free to love both of your parents. As for you and your Mom, I wouldn’t expect that to feel like a close relationship for a while (given how long she’s been gone) Give it time, and try to keep your expectations low. The first visit (or few visits) will likely be awkward, and that’s ok!
I totally have prayed to everyone I can think of. My parents divorced when I was 7, I am not 15 and I still wish they were together and cry about it. It’s something you cannot change and it isn’t your fault.
Courtney,
You are right that there is nothing you can do to change the situation, but there are things you can do to make the situation better for you and to begin to move forward in your life. You might want to check out our newly revamped online support group for teens which would give you a chance to talk to other teens about your experiences and learn from theirs. If you want more information, please let me know.
MY PEARENTS ARE THINKING ABOUT GETING A DIVORCE AND I KEEP ON PRAYING BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPEND AND IM 11 AND MY SISSTER IS 7 I DONT KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO
Jada,
I am sorry to hear about what you and your sister are going through. It isn’t easy. No matter what your parents decide, remember that things do eventually get better and that divorce is an adult thing. Even if they do decide to divorce, it doesn’t mean that they love you any less or that you can’t love them anymore. Whether they are husband and wife or not, they will always be your parents. It is also important that you understand that nothing about this is your fault or your sisters fault. You didn’t cause it, and unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to stop it. Make sure you have a trust adult that you can talk to (grandparent, teacher, aunt or uncle, etc.) about what you are going through. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
My parents have been seperated for 2 or 3 years now. when they see eachother they fight.. i want them to get together so badly but my mum likes the border and my mum hates my dad because he gambles on horse racing and send money to people in the phillipines… i am 10 and i want them back together but how??? i love them very very much iand i want them living together… i cry inside or when im alone because i miss them! ( just stopped crying my dads here!!! ) so is there a way to get them back.. my mum kinda always says no but the borders parents are nice to me and his niece so idk…
actually… dont worry.. i heard my dad on a phone call. he said he was permanantly sepearted… 🙁
Unknown,
I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. Unfortunately, there likely isn’t much you can do to get them back together. It’s important for you to talk to them about how you feel and also to understand that it’s ok to cry, or to be happy, or to be angry, or whatever else!
My parent recently separated, and I have a very close relationship with my father. They have been fighting often, and today they just separated. I still have 6 months to see if things will go back to normal. But right now I honestly need more advice than this. My apologies.
Brandon,
What do you need advice on? We are happy to help however we can.
My parents separated 3 years ago and I still want them to get back together. Their separation has caused me to develop a stomach ulcer also. It just hurts! I pray every night they will just resolve everything. I can’t even watch FIREPROOF without wishing that it was reality. Please help me. I really appreciate it!
Ashleigh,
I’m sorry to hear how the stress if affecting you physically. I know how badly you want your parents back together, but it sounds like that isn’t going to happen. You need to find someone to talk to about what you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing so that you can start to move forward with your life. Your family may never look like it used to, but it’s still your family.
I don’t think that my life will ever be the same. My dad isn’t even aloud to come to my birthday parties! He doesn’t come to anything anymore. I just moved and starting a whole new life. That’s not what I wished for. 3 1/2 years so far. I can’t do this anymore. Thinking/ trying to get my parents back together. Praying every night for them to get back together. Every birthday every christmas, every Hanukaha! My one and only wish is for them to get back together and live the life I lived 3 1/2 years ago. And thats never gonna happen!!
Why isn’t your Dad allowed to come to stuff? I know how you must feel wanting your parents to get back together, but I think you need to focus your emotional energy on finding a trusted adult to talk to about what you are going through.
i just don’t get why we have to go through so much pain because they have chosen to not live with each other??? my parents have not recently been separated, and it’s almost been a year, and i have been for months trying to convince my parents to get back together all they say is no and it’s not my fault, but i think they are just saying that but i believe myself it’s my fault…
I know it’s hard to accept that it isn’t your fault, but your parents are probably telling you the truth when they tell you that. Why do you think that it is your fault?
My parents were married for 16 years, I was about 8 years old when they separated.. I’ve never ever heard them quarrel before, my mother told me that she’s never quarreled with my dad before. But just one day, I saw my mother crying and ran out of the house.. They’ve never talked nor quarrel since then. I’m 16 now. It’s been 8 years now. I thought I’ve moved on but I cry when I try to Rmb the past like the memories and all. I wish that my parents are back together and we can have family time again. I miss my complete family. I talk to my mother about the separation but I’m afraid to talk to my dad about it.
Isadora,
I know it hurts, and that hurt has a way popping back up when we least expect it. Why are you afraid to talk to your Dad about it? What does your mom say?
I am 15 years old and my parent got divorced last year due to cheating which caused them to loose trust in one another and respect. Their loyalty for eachother was gone. And that’s one of the most important things in a relationship to have. Almost everything their relationship was built on was just gone and there was nothing left. The only thing left was fighting, arguing, and quietly eating in the living room, and then back to it again. They would try as hard as they could to be the way they used to be around my brother and I. I could tell, I am not stupid, they weren’t happy. But before everything went down hill. My family was a happy, comfortable, fun, Peaceful, living, and caring. It was what I had hoped they would eventually be again. But instead of fixing the little tear in our family and trying to fight to make it better. And you would think they would since they were so good at fight. Instead they just ended it all. Not a care in the world about what I thought or how my brother and I would feel or take it. So now here at 15 I’m living with my mother who has already had a boyfriend for a year (that selfish little bitch) and is living with us as well. And my dad who refuses to try as hard as he can to be near my brother an I. He lives an hour away. We only get to see him twice a month (every other weekend). And anytime he isn’t with us and not an hour away, he is spending time with his girlfriend he has been with for about 5 months. So knowing that both of my parents have moved on, it’s kinda hard for me to hope that things will go back to how they used to be before all the bad came into place. But God knows it would be the best miracle for me if it did happen.
Katie,
Unfortunately, it does not sound like your parents are getting back together, and I know that’s gotta be really hard to face. Our parents don’t always make the decisions we would like them to make, and sometimes the children are left to deal with the consequences of those decisions.
Have you talked to your mom or dad about how you feel about their new friends?
Im 9 and my parents have been divorced for 3 years. I tried telling my mom to go eat at a restraunt i knew my dad was going to eat and my dad actually left… I cry and pray but nothing happens. Do you think something will happen? D:
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know it’s hard. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do as a child to get your parents back together. Divorce is an adult issue, and your parents will have to work things out on their own. Just know that they both love you and you are free to love them both back. Your family might not look like it used to, but it’s still a family.
Can you help me to get my parents back?
Athu,
I really do wish I could do that. Unfortunately, there isn’t anything I, or you, can do to make that happen. I know it hurts when your parents divorce and you want nothing more than for them to get back together, but it’s important to understand that your family is different now. Things may seem horrible, but trust me when I tell you that the pain does eventually heal. The most important thing is that you find someone you trust to talk to about what you are going through and what you are feeling.
My parents are not divorce but they want to live in different houses now I have to stay with my dad on the weekend and my mom on weekday I am the only child I am so close with my mom and dad .when I go to my dads I cry and cry and cry when I go to my moms I cry and cry and cry and everywhere I go I cry what can I do to get my parents together again and I don’t have any family or cousins close to my city and my parent don’t really talk to anyone I need help any advice will work please
Teaira1,
Unfortunately there really isn’t anything you can do to get them back together, the same way nothing you did caused them to separate in the first place. Parents don’t always make the right decisions and they certainly don’t always make the decisions we want them to, but in the end they are adult decisions and there’s not a whole lot you, as the child, can do about them. What you can do though is take care of yourself. Find someone you can talk to about the pain and the hurt you are experiencing. Take time away from the hurt to be a kid and enjoy yourself (it’s ok to be happy, just don’t use it to suppress the pain). IN the end, your parents splitting up is a loss that you will have to grieve just like any loss. Things may never be the same, but that doesn’t mean they will always be bad. Trust me when I say there is light at the end of the tunnel. I do hope you will check in with us to let us know how things are going.
Take care of yourself, Wayne
My parents have been separated since I was 6 (now 12) and they didn’t even tell me, I was so young and oblivious, not helped by the fact that my dad if often away on work trips, (like twice a month) and that’s the worse part, it took me like a year to notice that they were divorced.
At one point I was happy about this and hated my dad and this is why; It really started when me and my mum and brother moved to a 2 bed house with not enough space at all compared to where we used to live in a big 4 bed house ( entirely owned by my mum) then she has to give most of HER money to my dad who has a big 3 bed house to himself. I hated my dad for that as he basically stole my mums hard earned cash.
Then, I had to go to his every other weekend and I hated it because I still hated him for the above. I refused to go to his and spent hours kicking and screaming trying not to go be cause he only did what my brother wanted but now I se that that wasn’t the case and he treated us equally. Now I feel really mean because he must have felt so sad and like such a bad parent and that his daughter didnt love him and I am so sorry about what I put him through nowadays and it makes me so sad and guilty when I think about it now.
I went through a bit where I didn’t want them back together but I would willingly spend time with my dad.
Now my brother is bigger and stronger than my mum and me and He bullies-teases me all the time unless my dad is there or his friends. I really want this to stop. It is getting me so down and every time I tell my mum he blames it on me in some way and I get in trouble. I need my parents back together to be happy again now I think.
I can’t move in with my dad because he lives 2hrs away and isn’t home enough to be a proper parent and usually has to cancel or delay weekends with us. The only solution is to get my parents back together to be happy again. I can’t escape my brothers bullying at home and I need help getting my parents back together. At this point it doesn’t seem like there is another option.
Ellie,
I’m sorry to hear all this and that you have to deal with it at all. I wouldn’t blame yourself for how you treated your Dad. Divorce is hard on everyone, and it should be expected that different people will react differently. Besides, it sounds like both you and your Dad have moved past it now. As for your brother, I know first hand that they can be a pain. 🙂 Is there someone other than your mom that you can talk to about it, maybe someone at school or an Uncle? Have you talked to your Dad about it when you do see him? Maybe he can say something to your brother. Unfortunately, most parents DO NOT get back together after a divorce, and it’s important that you find a way to deal with your current circumstanced. If there’s anything else we can do to help, please let us know.
Take care of yourself,
Wayne
Founder of IAmaChildofDivorce.com
My dads not allowed to come to anything because my mom won’t let him! I can’t live life when every single time they are on the phone they can’ stop yelling at each other!!! I can’t take it any more! I’m 12 ears old and i know way to much!!
Darien,
I’m so sorry that you’re stuck dealing with this. Unfortunately, sometimes parents don’t act particularly grown up. Have you talked to your mom about how it makes you feel when she won’t let your Dad come to things? Have you talked to either of them about how it makes you feel when you can hear them yelling on the phone? Short of convincing them to stop, I think the only thing you can try to do is walk away. When they’re yelling at one another, refuse to listen. Go to another room. Turn on some music and tune it out. It’s not the best solution, but it will work temporarily. Let us know how it goes!
Hi, I need help! My parents haven’t divorce yet but…my mum have some serious problems with my dad….when they sleep my mum don’t want to sleep with my dad need to use the pillow or something to separate each other.My dad haven’t don anything wrong its just my mother….She treat my dad like sh*t just hope you guys could give me some advice or suggestion what should do….I wont just sit there do nothing.My dad can’t take it anymore….Pls help D:
Benedict,
Unfortunately there isn’t a whole lot you can do. The issues your parents are having are adult issues, and you really shouldn’t have to be involved in them anyway. How do you find out about these things?
The important thing to remember is that they are your parents – mistakes and all. Even when you don’t like what they’re doing, you need to give yourself permission to love them both and just be the kid. Don’t take they’re burdens on yourself even if that’s hard and you have to see them in pain. I know that’s not an easy thing to follow, but in the end it’s the right thing. I hope you’ll check back in and let us know how you’re doing.
Take care of yourself, Wayne
My parents divorced because my dad was cheating on my mom and then my mom was depressed and had diabetes ????
Ppaapp. That must have been tough on you. How are things going now?
I need help my dad is mad at my mom because he thought my mom stole something and now he says he’s going to leave my home
Helios, any update on your situation? Please remember that just because parents argue doesn’t mean they’re going to split up. Sometimes the prudent thing to do is wait and see how things develop before worrying too much about them. Let us know how things are going.
Thanks, Wayne
My mom and dad are separated, just separated because in our country divorce is not allowed. They separated bec. my dad havent helped my mom financially and we found out that my dad has a mistress. We knew that because we went to a person who uses Tarrot Cards and thats what she told us. And now I found out that my mom has a boyfriend and I dont want them to be annulled please help! And dad wont confess that he has a mistress. Right now we are living in our aunt’s house with my mom and leaving dad in our real house. I have faith that they will still get back together. But how? Please help
Alyssa,
I know what you are going through is so hard. No matter where you live, when your parents split up, it hurts. Unfortunately, separation and divorce is an adult thing and there isn’t a whole lot the kids can do about. It sounds like your mom and your dad both have some things that need to be worked out. From your perspective, if you have questions about what’s going on or what is going to happen in the future, find time to ask one or both of your parents, and remember that just because your parents left one another doesn’t have to mean they love you any less or that you have to love either of them any less. I hope you will continue to use this site, and if there are specific questions we can answer for you, please let us know! Take care of yourself, Wayne
Mr Stocks can i have a private chat with you on facebook
jayrob,
You are welcome to use the “Ask Us” feature on this website to speak confidentially or you can e-mail me at wayne@iamachildofdivorce.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
I need your help. My parents are separated and I feel my mom is being like a little different and my dad wants to be with my mom. But my mom doesn’t and I’m 10 so confused sometimes I feel like I can’t trust anyone please help me my mom’s not herself I just want this to stop please help your my only hope.
Kaylee,
I’m sorry you’re hurting so much. Sometimes parents so act differently after they separate. Have you talked to your mom about it? As far as your mom and dad being together, that’s up to them, and I would encourage you not to get in the middle of it. You need to be free to be a kid and to love both of your parents. If there is anything else we can do to help or other questions we can answer, please don’t hesitate to ask!
Take care of yourself,
Wayne
Founder of IAmAChildofDivorce.com
Divorce is just a punishment and if they want, they get married and have kids but if they want, they can separate. What’s the point of this, divorce is just a living hell towards the people that have to put up with this in life.
Anonymous, there is no doubt that Divorce does hurt and most times it hurts those who have no say in the decision. I gather from your comment that you might be one of those people. I would encourage you to find someone you trust that you can talk to about what you are going through. It probably doesn’t seem like it now, but things do get better with time and as you take the time to work through the emotions it brings out. Please let us know if we can help you at all.
my parents are all ways fighting what can i do to get them back together i all ways feel sad sometimes i cry in my room for hours i love my parents but i dont want divorce to happen
Shikar, Thank you for sharing with us. Divorce stinks and it does hurt. I’m sorry to hear about your parents and the divorce. Most people don’t want there parents to divorce, but unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to stop it. Please know that just because your parents divorce doesn’t mean that they are divorcing you. Also know that divorce is an adult thing and based on adult decisions (not always good ones). Nothing about it is you fault and nothing you did led to the decision if your parents do indeed divorce. We are here to help you however we can. Please stay in touch with us and let us know what is going on.
pls help me
My parents are divorced to they have been divorced when I was only 3 or 4 years old it’s really hard for me because i miss my dad so much and he lives in North Carolina and now I have a step dad which I don’ really like to well I feel like he doesn’t know how to have fun or be funny. I always pray to god that my parents will be together again but I think I am just going to have to live with a step parent for the rest of my life.
Here is a link to a helpful article on what to do if you don’t like your stepparent. I hope it helps: https://iamachildofdivorce.com/what-can-i-do-if-i-dont-like-my-stepparent/.
What should i do if they are in the line of divorce ? And i dont want that to happend . They havent fought for years . I mean they fight but not like this they fight for simple reason and in no time they get along ! I think it was about my fathers affair years ago .and he had a child ! And now , this day , this date , his child was looking for him and her mother called my mom , saying that she is the mother of my fathers son . And my mother called my father cuz of that woman . And now their fighting saying that . She dont need our father . His child needs him more . Etc . I just wish they would get along again . I love them both . I just want to do something to stop this . I love them equaly .
Joshua,
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s scary when your parents fight and not knowing what is going to happen. Rest assured that no matter what happens, you should be free to love both of your parents. I do hope you will let us know how things are going and if there is anything else we can do to help you!
Take care of yourself,
Wayne
Founder IAmAChildofDivorce.com
So yesterday when my dad came back home my dad park his car in front of our garage. He stayed in the car and sat there listening to a video he was watching. My mom went outside and asked my dad if he was coming inside. My dad said yes, and then my mom asked my dad if he could check my mom’s car. Suddenly my dad got irritated because he felt like my mom was rushing him since he had to cook first and now he has to check the car so he started yelling at my mom. My mom came inside and then told me she’d rather pay someone to check her car then get yelled at. My mom left the house and went to try and find a mechanic but was past 6:00 PM. My mom came back home at 9:00 PM with groceries. The next day my mom came home at around 7:00 PM. My mom ignored my dad and put down her groceries. Then she went upstairs and stayed upstairs. I told my mom that she shouldn’t stay mad at my dad forever. She told me that my dad is lazy, and he won’t help with the house. She’s been paying the house bills and working hard and so she is mad. She said she is okay with separating and would not ever want to see my dad, and if she had a place to stay other than with us then she would never come back.
I am 12
my mom and dad got into a fight and he left but they are not divorced do u think they might get back together
Sarah,
What happened with your situation? Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help at I Am A Child of Divorce.
hey my mom and dad got into a fight and he left but there not divorced do u think he might come back help
Chloe, What happened with your situation? Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help at I Am A Child of Divorce.
I don’t want to give up and I know it’s not my fault but there has to be something I can to, I don’t want to houses or two xboxs I want my family back. I don’t want some reply saying just be patient and it will be okay, I want a reply telling me how to get my mom and dad to love each other again, and I want us to be happy again. Not pretend to be happy with some step mom or step dad who I hate. Please help.
Sam,
My heart hurts for the pain you are going through. I wish I had an answer for you. I wish there were some magic potion or special words that would make everything ok, but there isn’t. We are here though, and if you need someone to talk to, we are glad to help. Hang in there. It may not seem like it now, and you will have to deal with some pain, but I know that happiness will come back again. It might not look like what you envision or what you used to have, but it will come.
I am so sorry that your parents are getting divorced, that situation is never easy. As far as your involvement, just know that there is nothing you could have done, or can do to prevent this divorce. Likewise, nothing that you did caused their separation. This decision is entirely their own. You shouldn’t try to stop it- They are doing what is best for them. More than anything, they love you! you will still have two loving parents after this separation. Remember, you are loved.
Honestly, I don’t know why people said that nothing is going to change and both of the parents still love you no matter what.
Thing is i don’t think the people who said these words have actually gone through it and if they did probably thats a one and a million chance.
Most of divorce parents that i know of including mine did not manage to work it out. I have been living in a situation where my parent are more childish than me and they both are selfish human being. Of course there is not sane parents who would say you have to choose but they did it unconsciously.
I have done EVERYTHING, including making deals with god, praying non stop, try counseling and be a better kid in general. All those things did not work and the only effect is it makes me to be matured faster than most kids. I lost my best years because of my parents decisions. I pity my little brother who did not make enough attachment to my dad because he was to little when he moved out with my mom. Both my parents occasionally told me bad things about each other, Do you have any idea how it makes me feel? A child hearing about a parent looking down upon another?
what tips do i have?
I had been living in a fantasy where my parent would get back together like in the movie PARENT TRAP. Disney should stop making children dream about unrealistic situation. They will not be able to move on and realise that soon as you grow up you will see that your parents are not perfect. This life is not a fairytale and your family is not some kind of a magical kingdom where everybody is happy. When you become an adult you will see that everybody is miserable and as sad as it might be, it actually makes you feel a lot better.
My parents are both now remarried to people who are the same age as me. Remember, every thing will not be the same. You will have to move on. Your parents who you thought love you no matter what will have new children with their new partners and soon you will just see your parents as annoying family member who constantly force you to hear about their boring new life. If your parent, who supposed to love their kids more than their kids love them, CAN MOVE ON, why shouldn’t you? You live for yourself. Yes, you wont have a safety net like children from a happy family but at least you’re stronger and you’ll be able to tackle any life challenges in the future WITHOUT your parents help. Over the time you will meet friends who have the same fate as you and you will bond a new family with them. You will meet your parents probably once or twice a year and thats enough. Just do good in school and your future will be better than any kids with a happy family.
Lindsay,
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like it’s been really rough and left you kind of soured on your whole family. The fact is, every family handles divorce differently, and it doesn’t sound like your parents have handled particularly well. I would encourage you to try to find it in your heart to forgive your parents (not for their sake, but for your own). I am actually working on an article right now that talks a little bit about how to do that. I know it isn’t easy, but hold on to unforgiveness only serves to hurt you in the end. I am so glad though that you have found some people that you can talk to about the things that have happened in your life. If there is anything we can do to help you, please do let us know.
Sincerely,
Wayne Stocks
Founder of I Am A Child of Divorce
im 6 and my parents are packing away stuff right now
zhareem,
I am sorry and I know you must be scared about this situation. Have your parents told you any more about what is going on? Please know that we are here at I Am A Child of Divorce to help in any way that we can.