In this article from Huffington Post, Shanon Bradley-Colleary shares an important first hand account on the importance of her parents getting along after their divorce.  So many times, children of divorce are left reeling and wondering why they even exist in the face of their parents divorce.  Ms. Bradley-Colleary’s experience was what you might call a success story:

Sitting at a table listening to my parent’s talk about these escapades — with my stepmom laughing along — made me feel like I am something more than a beloved mistake. They had a history and a story that had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with me becoming the person I am today.

I love my parents — the three I have remaining and my stepdad Guido who is gone, but has left his mark on me too. Despite all of my poor-me-child-of-divorce-violin-in-A-minor sonatas, I had great parents. I have great parents. And I’m grateful, grateful, grateful that they love each other. Thanks mom and dad.

ARTICLE LINK: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shannon-colleary/when-your-divorced-parent_b_3007254.html

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Grief is a process that people go through when they suffer a loss.  It is a journey through understanding and dealing with what has happened.  The goal of the grieving process is to reach acceptance of the loss that will allow you to move on with life.  When your parents separate or get a divorce, it is natural for you to grieve that loss.  Grief is not an easy process, but it is a necessary part of healing.

Experts have identified five distinct stages in grief.  You may not experience these stages sequentially (meaning one after the other), but you are likely to experience all five stages in dealing with the loss in your life.  You may also experiences these different stages numerous times as you continue to get older and understand more and more about life and the loss you have experienced as the result of your parents’ divorce.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross identified five stages of grief that people experience following the death of someone close.  These five stages will also apply to processing the losses you have experienced as a result of the divorce.  They include:

1. Denial

During this stage you may deny that anything has changed about your family.  You don’t talk about it.  You try not to think about it.  You convince yourself that everything will get back to normal soon.  Rather than deal with the emotions and feelings you are experiencing, you push them deep down inside and pretend nothing is going on.  You might be wondering why all this is happening to you in the first place.  In order to move into the other stages of grief, you must first be willing to admit that you have lost something.

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