LINK TO RESOURCE: http://divorceministry4kids.com/2012/dealing-with-the-effects-of-divorce-on-kids/

At Divorce Ministry 4 Kids, they have compiled a free e-book with contains one page infographics with information and advice on helping kids deal with common emotions that come with the divorce of their parents.  The book include help on dealing with feelings of:

• Anger
• Anxiety
• Chaos
• Confusion
• Denial
• Depression
• Embarrassment
• Fear
• Grief
• Guilt
• Loneliness
• Loss
• Powerlessness
• Sadness
• Shock
• Stress
• Torn Feelings
• Vulnerability
• Withdrawal

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This article from cozi.com explores how parents can use modern technology to stay in touch with their kids even when those kids are not living under the same roof.  There are signs that perhaps these advances are having a positive impact.  The article explains:

In a study on nonresidential fathers, researcher Paul Amato from Pennsylvania State University found that the percentage of nonresidential fathers being involved with their children more than tripled from 8 percent in the 1970s to 26 percent in 2000s.

In the days of Skype and Facetime and Google Hangouts, there is no reason that parents shouldn’t be seeing their kids on a regular basis (even if it is on a computer screen)!

LINK: http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/honey-your-dads-skype-how-technology-making-parenting-easier-divorced-families

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Here at I Am A Child of Divorce, we are pleased to announce the release the newest version of the My Feelings Workbook. Now published in conjunction with Hope 4 Hurting Kids, this book is designed to help kids, teens and adults to name the emotions they are feeling, and recognize what they are feeling.

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Although you can’t eliminate the impact of divorce on your kids, working together and following some basic rules can make post-divorce life easier on your kids. Rosalind Sedacca shares seven keys to making your co-parenting relationship work for your kids following a divorce.

LINK: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalind-sedacca/cooperative-coparenting-k_b_2737385.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce

Donald Harting is a child of divorce.  His parents separated when he was eight years old and divorced when he was 15.  He knows what it is like to lose an intact family and deal with the repercussions of divorce.  As a way to honor his parents, he has built a living memorial to them in the form of free books to help other children of divorced parents. You can find the program here.

And, the program does not offer just any books.  They have researched the best books available for preschool aged, elementary aged, middle school aged and teenaged children of divorce and picked the best book for each category.  As a result of their research they offer the following books for each category of children:

Preschool/Kindergarten

Using watercolor illustrations and gentle explanations, Mama and Daddy Bears Divorce discusses changes (like Daddy moving out), but reassures little ones that important things will stay the same. As Dinah learns, “her daddy would always be her daddy, and her mama would always be her mama.” (Description from FSCC).

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The teen years can be a particularly hard time for children to experience the divorce of their parents.  This article from Risa Garcon explains why and offers some practical advice to both parents and teens.

LINK: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/risa-garon/adolescence-and-divorce-h_b_2728668.html

STOP! If you are considering a divorce, do everything within your power to find another way. Divorce hurts. It will hurt your children whether or not they are willing to tell you. Divorce fundamentally changes the world they have come to know.

That said, we recognize that some people will still elect to get a divorce, or may find themselves in a position where they have no choice. In those situations, we hope that you will make every effort to lessen the impact divorce will have on your kids. Those efforts should start from the very beginning, and in this case the beginning is when you choose to tell your kids about the divorce.

The following lists provide guidance on the steps you can take to tell your children about your divorce in the best possible way. Though these steps will not eliminate all pain and hurt your children might feel, we hope that they will help to mitigate the impacts of divorce. Not all of these steps will be easy for you, but we encourage you to make every effort to take as many of these steps as you possible can.  Whatever you do, be honest with your kids, do not tell your children the things listed below if you do not actually intend to do it.

Planning Ahead

• Don’t tell your children until you are absolutely sure you are getting a divorce.
• Tell the kids together with your spouse.
• Determine with your spouse ahead of time what you will say to your children and who will say it.
• Tell all of your children together at the same time.
• Pick an appropriate time for the conversation. Do not pick a time where someone need to head off to a soccer game or business meeting.
• Leave plenty of time for the conversation. Allotting an entire day and evening for this conversation would be best.
• Pick a private place to tell your children the news. Do not have the conversation with family friends or relatives present.
• Pick a place that is familiar and comfortable for your children. Do not have the conversation in a public place.
• Anticipate questions your children might ask ahead of time and be prepared to answer them.

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LINK

http://www.divorceandchildren.com/

ABOUT THE SITE

This website is the homepage of Christina McGhee.  Christina is a divorce coach and parent educator.  The focus of her work is on “helping children and families successfully manage the challenges of divorce.”  The focus of much of what Christina does is to help children and families to use the difficult events and circumstances they find themselves in as a result of divorce as a catalyst for positive change.

AVAILABLE RESOURCES

Divorce and Children is packed full of useful information for divorced and divorcing who desire to help their children adjust.  One of the best features of this page is a collection of resources for parents.  These articles are packed full of great information for parents and cover topics like:

• Do’s and Don’ts

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This article is a little bit on the simplistic side when it comes to advice about dating after a divorce, but if you are in that position it does offer some solid advice for how to make it easier on your kids.

LINK: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/03/dating-with-kids-5-ground_n_1911152.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

Research shows that divorce impacts children well into their adult years.  In fact Judith Wallerstein and her colleagues identified a “sleeper effect” where many children of divorce don’t even experience the full impact of the their parents’ divorce until years later as they become adults themselves.  That said, there are very few resources available designed specifically for adult children of divorce.   Chained No More is one of the very few resources written specifically to address the issues experienced by adult children of divorce.

After years of working with younger children of divorce and teen children of divorce, Robyn Besemann felt led to develop a program:

“…for the adult children of divorce to help them explore and address the issues connected with the divorce of their parents and other childhood brokenness.”

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