Registration for our pilot online teen support group ends April 30th, and we are asking for your help to promote that program. We have created a flier promoting the upcoming group. We invite you to print out copies of the flier and hang them at your local community center, at your church, at your place of business or school, or wherever else in your community that teens might see it. Our goal is to make sure that teens who need this program are aware of it.
For a printable pdf version of this flier, please click the image below:
This site is from the Justice Education Society in British Columbia. It is a guide for teens to parental separation and divorce. Written on a teen level it deals with what is happening, changes, emotions, strategies, the law, and frequently asked questions. The website is also available in French.
Within each section, various issues facing teens whose parents are separated or divorced are addressed including:
In this article from Huffington Post, Shanon Bradley-Colleary shares an important first hand account on the importance of her parents getting along after their divorce. So many times, children of divorce are left reeling and wondering why they even exist in the face of their parents divorce. Ms. Bradley-Colleary’s experience was what you might call a success story:
Sitting at a table listening to my parent’s talk about these escapades — with my stepmom laughing along — made me feel like I am something more than a beloved mistake. They had a history and a story that had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with me becoming the person I am today.
I love my parents — the three I have remaining and my stepdad Guido who is gone, but has left his mark on me too. Despite all of my poor-me-child-of-divorce-violin-in-A-minor sonatas, I had great parents. I have great parents. And I’m grateful, grateful, grateful that they love each other. Thanks mom and dad.
Grief is a process that people go through when they suffer a loss. It is a journey through understanding and dealing with what has happened. The goal of the grieving process is to reach acceptance of the loss that will allow you to move on with life. When your parents separate or get a divorce, it is natural for you to grieve that loss. Grief is not an easy process, but it is a necessary part of healing.
Experts have identified five distinct stages in grief. You may not experience these stages sequentially (meaning one after the other), but you are likely to experience all five stages in dealing with the loss in your life. You may also experiences these different stages numerous times as you continue to get older and understand more and more about life and the loss you have experienced as the result of your parents’ divorce.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross identified five stages of grief that people experience following the death of someone close. These five stages will also apply to processing the losses you have experienced as a result of the divorce. They include:
1. Denial
During this stage you may deny that anything has changed about your family. You don’t talk about it. You try not to think about it. You convince yourself that everything will get back to normal soon. Rather than deal with the emotions and feelings you are experiencing, you push them deep down inside and pretend nothing is going on. You might be wondering why all this is happening to you in the first place. In order to move into the other stages of grief, you must first be willing to admit that you have lost something.
This article from SafeTeen.org helps teens to understand how they might feel following the divorce of their parents and things they can do to help. Although brief, this article provides a good overview and some sound suggestions. The article explains:
Your parents are getting a divorce. Whether this is expected or unexpected, it is a traumatizing and overwhelming event to experience. Sometimes, teens and children feel like they somehow caused the divorce.
It offers the following advice to teens on how to make the divorce easier:
Be fair to both parents
Work it out
Stay in touch
Don’t worry about the future
Keep living your life
Focus on the positive
Although the article does not provide much in depth information or advice, is it a good overview for teens.
If your parents are separated or divorced, there is a good chance you will experience anger at some point in the process. There is nothing wrong with being angry. How we choose to deal with that anger is important. If we keep it all bottled up inside, we will suffer in the long run. Or, if we choose inappropriate outlets for our anger, there can be unwanted consequences.
In order to deal with our anger, and important first step is recognizing when we get angry, how angry we get and what we do to express that anger. That’s why we here I Am A Child of Divorce have developed:
THE ANGER-OMETER
Like a thermometer that measures temperature, you can use the Anger-ometer to measure the level of your anger and your reactions to it. Use the Anger-ometer for a week to track your anger and look for any patterns. Have a trusted friend or adult look at the results with you. Click on the image below for a printable version of the Anger-ometer today.
Divorce is stressful. It is stressful for parents, and it is stressful for kids. One of the best things you can do to reduce stress and other intense emotions (like anger) is to learn some simple activities and breathing techniques. The website consciousdiscipline.com offers this great resource which includes four simple techniques to help you deal with your high levels of stress and calm down. Although the “reminder” graphics were developed for kids, these exercises work great for people of any age!
We are please to officially announce the beginning of I Am A Child of Divorce support groups. These groups are intended children of divorce find hope and healing in the aftermath of their parents’ separation or divorce.
Groups are free to participate in and will be conducted entirely online and consist of a weekly introduction to the week’s theme, a video (or videos) to watch, prep work to be done online in preparation for the online chat, a one hour weekly online chat (text not voice) conducted in a private chat room available only to group members, and a recap activity to drive home each week’s theme.
Our first group, a pilot program for teens, will launch the last week of April with the first weekly live chat to be held Thursday, May 2 from 9:00 – 10:00 PM EST, and registration will remain open through April 30th. Registration will be limited and done on a first come first serve basis. Additional programs will be offered in the future.
If you are a teen whose parents who have divorce, no matter what stage of healing you are at, please register for our group today. If you know of teens who could benefit from this program, please forward this information to them.
To find out more information about our groups, click on one of the following links:
When your parents were married, they likely worked together to make decisions regarding you, and you probably all lived in the same house. When parents’ get divorced, someone has to decide who will make decisions for the kids and where the kids will live. Sometimes both parents agree on those decisions and other times, when parents can’t agree, a judge will make that decision. That is where custody comes in.
There are two general types of custody: legal custody (which refers to who gets to make major decisions for the kids including decisions related to education, healthcare, religion, etc.) and physical custody (which refers to where the children will spend their time).
