This article from SafeTeen.org helps teens to understand how they might feel following the divorce of their parents and things they can do to help.  Although brief, this article provides a good overview and some sound suggestions.  The article explains:

Your parents are getting a divorce. Whether this is expected or unexpected, it is a traumatizing and overwhelming event to experience. Sometimes, teens and children feel like they somehow caused the divorce.

It offers the following advice to teens on how to make the divorce easier:

• Be fair to both parents
• Work it out
• Stay in touch
• Don’t worry about the future
• Keep living your life
• Focus on the positive

Although the article does not provide much in depth information or advice, is it a good overview for teens.

If your parents are separated or divorced, there is a good chance you will experience anger at some point in the process.  There is nothing wrong with being angry.  How we choose to deal with that anger is important.  If we keep it all bottled up inside, we will suffer in the long run.  Or, if we choose inappropriate outlets for our anger, there can be unwanted consequences.

In order to deal with our anger, and important first step is recognizing when we get angry, how angry we get and what we do to express that anger.  That’s why we here I Am A Child of Divorce have developed:

THE ANGER-OMETER

Like a thermometer that measures temperature, you can use the Anger-ometer to measure the level of your anger and your reactions to it.  Use the Anger-ometer for a week to track your anger and look for any patterns.  Have a trusted friend or adult look at the results with you.  Click on the image below for a printable version of the Anger-ometer today.

We made the following video to announce the launch of our I Am A Child of Divorce Teen Support Groups, and we are excited to share it with you!

For more information on our groups, and to register for our upcoming April 2013 group, please visit https://iamachildofdivorce.com/groups/. 

Please feel free to share this video with whoever may benefit from these groups.

Divorce is stressful.  It is stressful for parents, and it is stressful for kids.  One of the best things you can do to reduce stress and other intense emotions (like anger) is to learn some simple activities and breathing techniques.  The website consciousdiscipline.com offers this great resource which includes four simple techniques to help you deal with your high levels of stress and calm down.  Although the “reminder” graphics were developed for kids, these exercises work great for people of any age!

LINK TO RESOURCE PAGE:

http://consciousdiscipline.com/resources/safe_place_breathing_icons.asp

LINK TO PDF FILE:

http://consciousdiscipline.com/downloads/resources/Safe_Place_Breathing_Icons.pdf

We are please to officially announce the beginning of I Am A Child of Divorce support groups.  These groups are intended children of divorce find hope and healing in the aftermath of their parents’ separation or divorce.

Groups are free to participate in and will be conducted entirely online and consist of a weekly introduction to the week’s theme, a video (or videos) to watch, prep work to be done online in preparation for the online chat, a one hour weekly online chat (text not voice) conducted in a private chat room available only to group members, and a recap activity to drive home each week’s theme.

Our first group, a pilot program for teens, will launch the last week of April with the first weekly live chat to be held Thursday, May 2 from 9:00 – 10:00 PM EST, and registration will remain open through April 30th.  Registration will be limited and done on a first come first serve basis.  Additional programs will be offered in the future.

If you are a teen whose parents who have divorce, no matter what stage of healing you are at, please register for our group today.  If you know of teens who could benefit from this program, please forward this information to them.

To find out more information about our groups, click on one of the following links:

When your parents were married, they likely worked together to make decisions regarding you, and you probably all lived in the same house.  When parents’ get divorced, someone has to decide who will make decisions for the kids and where the kids will live.  Sometimes both parents agree on those decisions and other times, when parents can’t agree, a judge will make that decision.  That is where custody comes in. 

There are two general types of custody: legal custody (which refers to who gets to make major decisions for the kids including decisions related to education, healthcare, religion, etc.) and physical custody (which refers to where the children will spend their time).

LEGAL CUSTODY

There are two types of legal custody.

Joint Legal Custody

This article from First Wives World is directed towards moms with advice on how to help their children work through their issues related to the divorce.  I appreciate this article because is does not take the “your kids will happy” route that so many article aimed at parents seem to take.  Instead, it presents a realistic look at what divorce might be like for your kids.  Indeed the opening paragraph contains a stark reminder for parents:

Remember, it is not your job to make your children feel cheerful about the divorce, or to convince them that the divorce was a wise decision. Just listening to your child’s complaints means a great deal.

The article provides a cursory look at three common ways kids are hurt in the divorce process:

1. Loss of the everyday.
2. Loss of parents as they used to be.
3. Loss of material things

Part two of this important series offers mom’s some insights into signs that their kids are hurting from the divorce including things like selfishness, lack of ambition and anger.

I Am A Child of Divorce is a proud part of Hope 4 Hurting Kids and we’ve decided to move this article to that page as we continue to build a repository of resources for children of divorce and children and teens who have experienced a variety of other traumatic events in their lives. We hope that you will check it out there!

You can find an updated copy of this article on Hope 4 Hurting Kids using this link.

This article from Helpguide.org provides tons of advice for parents on helping their kids to cope with separation and divorce.  The article starts with this sobering advice for parents:

For children, divorce can be stressful, sad, and confusing. At any age, kids may feel uncertain or angry at the prospect of mom and dad splitting up. As a parent, you can make the process and its effects less painful for your children. Helping your kids cope with divorce means providing stability in your home and attending to your children’s needs with a reassuring, positive attitude. It won’t be a seamless process, but these tips can help your children cope.

The article starts with advice about how to tell the kids if you have decided to get a divorce. (For more information see our thorough treatment of the subject at How Should I Tell My Kids We’re Getting a Divorce?).  From there the article covers some major things parents can do to help kids following a divorce.  They include:

• Listen and Reassure
• Providing Stability and Structure
• Taking Care of Yourself
• Working With Your Ex
• Knowing When to Seek Help

Obviously, one article can’t tell you everything you need to know in order to help your child with this major event their life, but this is a solid and thorough article packed full of useful advice.

LINK: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm

From KidsHealth.org, this article is a guide to divorce written specifically for kids.  The article explains that “Divorce Is Tough For Everyone,” and includes the important reminders that “Kids Don’t Cause Divorce” and “Kids Can’t Fix Divorce.”  If your parents are getting a divorce, or you know someone whose parents are divorced, this is a great resource to find out the basics about divorce.

LINK: http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/divorce.html